So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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