His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
