Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
