lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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