I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
