You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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