I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I want her autograph on my taint
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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