this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
