how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
