If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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