We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
