I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize