You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
