we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize