i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
