Ambien. No doubt about it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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