If i come over, it means nothing
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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