Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
