New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
