2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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