So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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