Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
