I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize