You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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