if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
