That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize