just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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