Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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