One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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