hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Even my vagina gasped.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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