Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
