Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
