The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
