Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He better not be in your backpack
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
