Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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