I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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