I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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