That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wish you could order shots online.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
