so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
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just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.