I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy