shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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