Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
