I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
