You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
