I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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