im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
