all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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