My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
