conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
