You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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