On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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