Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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  (760): genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex http://tfl.nu/ckcw
  Replies (33) Good night (3498) Bad night (1536)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
  Replies (76) Good night (1174) Bad night (8068)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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  (972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1
  Replies (16) Good night (5652) Bad night (677)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?

  (518): View more from New York

  No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.

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  (313): Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween? (518): No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate. http://tfl.nu/4msk
  Replies (21) Good night (5226) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

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  (518): he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left. http://tfl.nu/59ww
  Replies (38) Good night (1773) Bad night (8488)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.

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  (413): What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix. http://tfl.nu/3okt
  Replies (13) Good night (859) Bad night (5170)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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  (317): just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing http://tfl.nu/zjbc
  Replies (4) Good night (3001) Bad night (854)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  they're like a gay fantastic four

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  (204): they're like a gay fantastic four http://tfl.nu/6w8u
  Replies (15) Good night (2470) Bad night (1067)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club

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  (512): that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club http://tfl.nu/q8pu
  Replies (8) Good night (1139) Bad night (1927)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

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  (301): thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants. http://tfl.nu/zsuu
  Replies (2) Good night (1252) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

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  (413): styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know http://tfl.nu/4o79
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter

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  (919): my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/13z8
  Replies (2) Good night (863) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.

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  (919): I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement. http://tfl.nu/xeg4
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.

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  (570): I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day. http://tfl.nu/mbwl
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with

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  (415): Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with http://tfl.nu/l7pz
  Replies (3) Good night (470) Bad night (501)

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