and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
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