I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
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I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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