Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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