sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated