no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!