The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
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Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.