Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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