Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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