Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
