Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
