YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
