I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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