I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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