hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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