a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
