how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
