her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
