I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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