I think I died a long time ago.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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