After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
