Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize