One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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