So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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