remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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